So, here goes, again: I was drivin' down Old York Rd in my Poh-lice Cruiser when I saw this man ... funny-lookin' kind-a-guy ... Had an orange tint but was driving his Maybach ... just a little haphazardly ... y'know, a little erratic ... with his window open calling some immigrant-lookin' pedestrians some pretty angry names. I pulled him over. He had a little arsenal of automatic weapons up front and what looked like an RPG launcher on the back seat. I asks'im: "What's with all the weapons, Sir." He says:
"Officer ... I got a license and Montgomery County is Open Carry. Anyhow. It's a pretty dangerous World out there ... lotta immigrants and I think I saw Moslems dancing in Wall Park."
I calls the office ... (back to car) "Sir ... I cannot confirm any disturbance goin' on in Wall Park." "Officer. I saw it myself and I should know because I have a lotta money." He then goes on talkin' trash about people who are different, sayin' that everybody who disagrees with him is a liar and one of them mighta killed a Kennedy and another one should be sent to the Women's Detention Center in Philly. .... Then he tells me it's not raining and it never rains when he's ridin' in his Maybach ... meanwhile, the water's pouring off my Sargent's cap. He starts swearin' at the Township Commissioners and accusing them of bein' stupid. More and more ... any case ... I got choices, eh:
(1) "Sir. Now, you be careful, now, and have a blessed day."
(2) "Sir. I just wanna say that yer car is the Tiger's roar. Can I go fer a ride in your car-car?"
(3) "Sir. I think you might be batshit crazy but I can't be sure, so have a good day."
(4) "Sir. Take me for a ride in your car-car, please, and gimme a good job? ... and we'll forget about all this silliness."
hhcovitz@aol.com Psychoanalyst, Father, Husband, Grandfather, Citizen
No comments:
Post a Comment