Did you know that there are lots of bears and maple trees in Canada? Two on every tree, Sally says
and that it's so cold that we gotta wear coats to my birthday party in May and, anyway, they speak a funny language there and have names that I only hear when Daddy's watching hockey?
Becky said we have to move there next month after Daddy loses his job. and we need to bring all our blankets and coats and stuff.
I am a little scared, especially, after the last two debates.I haven't blinked my eyes all day!
Lemme see if I can remember some of the things I heard while you were telling me to shush, whenever I asked anything during last night's TV thing and the one before ... don't know if I was awake through the whole thing but I kinda remember it like a scary dream and Daddy was listening to every word.
It really was scary to watch the Old White Guy walking back and forth behind the Grannie-Lady, looking pretty unhappy and maybe even angry like I think Dad once was when I threw my blocks right through the window ... the Old White Guy kept up the angry stuff whenever the Lady that looks like Grandma was saying something that was just for big people, I think. I didn't hear him say the P or F words, though. Not once. He was really wearing his best clothes, too.
Anyway ... You told me I'm never supposed to talk when other people are talking but he did a lot of that. Then he kinda said that when I grow up, I can talk dirty when I'm hanging out with the other guys in the playground or in the gym. Does that mean if he's President, I can call Sally all those names that I can't use now because I'm too young. Did he pull the Grannie-Lady's hair or her whatever. I don't know what a whatever is but it's really important. And when he said -- I heard it on the news -- that he could get ladies to do anything he wanted them to do, I remembered that I saw in the back of Daddy's car magazine while we were driving last Christmas that there's something I can spray on me and a book that I can read that'll make the girls let me do anything I want, especially if I buy them something ... like a banana.
The Old White Guy said something about furniture and other wooden stuff.
But what I liked most was what he said about what he did being not so bad as what Billy did. Billy must be really scary.
I keep telling you that the big kid, George, in Miss Irving's class kicked his lunch box at her and jumped all over the desks in class and you said it doesn't matter ... that I still can't kick my lunch box. What Billy did musta been really, really bad if it was worse than scaring Grandma-Lady, screaming at her for taking his guns away, and saying that no matter how big a dick he was, Billy was a much worse dick. By the way, Mommy. Is a dick what I think it is and did Billy really do all those things that we don't talk about when our Grandma is around to those other ladies who looked like Aunt Harriet? and who is Billy, anyway? I like it when Aunt Harriet holds me ... makes me feel all sleepy and awake at the same time.
So, You told me that it was not easy for little boys to understand what big people did but what was the Old White Guy talking about? And he said really bad things were gonna happen unless they let him boss around the Generals of the army in the White House's Locker Room (what's a locker room, Dad? Is that where we can say all the Letter-Words?) and choose some new bigger Genitals. He said that there are gonna be lots of bad people coming here, soon, and that they were going to make things all blow up unless he could send the Grannie to Jail and he could play the big Genital and act like his friend Tootin' ... even though you told me ... both of you told me ... that I was never supposed to go tootin' my own horn. I think I know why his friend is called Tootin' ... He must toot his horn when his Mommy isn't looking.
So, Mommy, Daddy ... when I go to sleep tonight would you promise to stay with me and not put the lights out till I'm asleep. Please .... and can we say a prayer for the Grannie Lady, tonight.She looked pretty happy but he really looked like he was gonna jump on her back and beat'er up. So ...
Good Night Hilary
Good Night Mommy and Good Night Daddy
Good Night Canada and Good Night USA
Good Night Big White Guy and Good Luck
Good Night Moon.
Good Night Moon.
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