Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Katy Tur: The Long-Awaited Trump-Pivot Has Occurred

BREAKING NEWS     BREAKING NEWS    BREAKING NEWS    

(TNG: Trump Tower, New York) Trump News Gold has reported the arrival of the long-awaited and anticipated general election pivot. An undisclosed Director of the Foreign Office at TNG near Herr Drumpf was quoted saying in an unannounced press meeting:

The POTUS Nominee has again demonstrated the Drumpf Doctrine of the Counterpunch That is Never Telegraphed (DDotCiNT) ... I bet you lowest-lifes in the Elite News Outlets never expected this ...  and that's the way it'll be and that's how we'll defeat ISIS. They'll never see it coming. They'll never see it coming. Let me say that again: THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING. Believe me.

When asked by Katy Tur if the correct pronunciation of the acronym DDotCiNT had the emphasis on the first two syllables "DDot" or the third "CiNT," a woman who looked surprisingly like KellyAnne Conway (hair dyed and wearing facial hair  holy ash on her forehead -- OK, Sorry but look at the resemblance, please) responded:

"To be determined." 


"To be determined?" 

Ever-willing to resist the Trump Campaign's efforts to get her to stop asking questions and being 'a bad girl among the lowest-life forms, the Press,' Katy asked whether Drumpf, himself, would decide on the exact pronunciation. The KellyAnne look-alike asked: 

"What about To-Be-Decided don't you understand, Kitty-Katy?"

The KellyAnne lady, herself, immediately pivoted to the meat and potatoes of the "Long-Awaited Pivot Dance" (L-AP Dance):

"Let it be known," she began "from this day forward:"

Most Mexicans are no longer Rapists.

< 11,000,000 people will be deported on Day One.

Some Women are neither Pigs nor Dogs.

Muslims who drink Molotov Cocktails WILL be invited 
to our Russo-American Fests to be held on the New National Holiday,  
Boy George Day on 14 June*.

Illegals making 7 figures will not be sent back 
on Day-One of the Drumpf Presidency, either, 
and the first 6 pages of my Tax Return 
will be released on that day, too.

There was no Dancing for Dollars at Drumpf weddings and the Clintons 
will not be invited to attend, no matter how much $ DJT gave to
the Clinton Foundation.

Herr Drumpf may say he's sorry whenever he acts like an insensitive shit
or when he makes up stuff that doesn't even vaguely pass the Truth sniff-test.
Stay tuned to this page!


                          BREAKING WIND     BREAKING NEWS    BREAKING WIND


* ... which coincides with the day the World decided it couldn't live without baby-Drumpf, either.

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Sorry for the silliness ... and
Apologies to Katy Tur ... 
it's keeping me temporarily sane in a World where everything is Spin.

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